The brakes squeaked like a fat child was messing with the French horn and the crowd's screaming died down. People unbuckled and released themselves from the instant cages and regained composure. The ride's over and I still had my seat belt on, fastened sternly to my rib cage as if a wild creature was locked up somewhere inside. The sky was so clear tonight that the stars could signal the operator when was the best time to start the next round. But he didn't bother. There was no one waiting in line at this time of the night and I had been on the same roller coaster for the past 45 minutes. My hair's still messy and my knees shaking from the hype and yet my heart was beating steadily like an undisturbed tiger sleeping soundly near a lake. The duration of the ride was approximately 10 minutes. There were three peaks and two 360-degree turns in this ride and the frenzy happened in less than 30 seconds.
I should be feeling it. At least that's what I thought I felt when it dropped from the peak. But did I really feel it? How could I forget?
I waved at the man inside the control room and swirled my index finger.
Again, I mouthed. He waved back, shook his head and pointed at his watch, then went back to Sudoku. This could either mean that I should wait a few minutes for the next round or that they're closing soon. I left myself strapped in the seat nonetheless.
What's the point of getting on a roller coaster if the person was not scared of height? My head was throbbing from all this thinking so I tried to distract myself by looking at the lights coming from the Ferris wheel. The music in the theme park was still on and each beat thumped on firmly as if it was mocking the weak beast in my chest. At times the lights extended like laser and at times they glimmered down like confetti. The whole point of this was to enjoy the fall because you're scared of falling.
People say life is like a roller coaster. But well, to me, life is the entire theme park. Because we get to choose to line up for the kind of rides we want. I shouldn't have protected myself from what I wanted but what I would do. And right now I am stuck between being fearless and being numb to the fall.
The bell rang and the machine started running again. It roared with the metal's heavy clang. The train exhilarated gradually out of the sheltered port into vastness, and stars flickered in an instant moment of dark surprise. The Ferris wheel was getting bigger, the music louder. And the world was flat again.
